Discernment and Weddings

     Weddings are beautiful. Most people I speak to enjoy going to weddings and witnessing a couple full of love enter into the Sacrament of Marriage. However, weddings can also be a source of confusion to a man discerning his vocation. From the question of bringing a date to ultimately questioning his vocation, a wedding can be the source of inner turmoil if a man is not grounded.
   
     Let's dive into the first question. Should a man discerning the priesthood bring a date to a wedding? To answer this question we have to establish some basic ground rules. First, to discern properly one has to be free to discern. Dating can infringe on discernment, especially later on when seminary is looking more like a realistic step toward the priesthood. So, the answer to the question is, "it depends". Is the woman you are taking someone you could see things moving along with? Or is this simply a friend you wish the share the occasion with? If you are vulnerable to confusion, even simply taking a friend could infringe on your freedom to discern. This introduces the second rule; know thyself. A person discerning the priesthood will eventually realize that they to have built a great sense of self. This is very important, because discerning the priesthood involves seeking out God, and realizing God given gifts. Knowing yourself involves knowing what whether you are in a state of consolation or desolation (I will list resources below). If you are in a state of desolation and seem far away from God while discerning the priesthood, I would advise not bringing a date to a wedding you are attending. A spiritual director is a great person to help you answer these questions.
   
     Weddings are a good place to discern, because you are in a grace filled environment (the mass). Mass is a great place to discern. I like to utilize the sacraments (and sacramentals) to aid in my discernment. What I like to do at weddings is try to picture myself as one of the players in the ceremony. It is important to note that I do not attempt to force myself on a particular player. I ask God to open my heart and mind to enable myself to reflect on being either the groom or the priest. After the wedding and the reception are over I like to enter into a time of reflection. I ask the Holy Spirit to guide my reflections on who I was. Personally, I have established a pattern of being the priest who helps the couple enter into the Marriage Sacrament. I reflect on preparing the couple, engaging with them on the teachings regarding marriage, ultimately serving as the official witness of the Church, and of course presiding over the celebration of the Mass.

   
     Being Catholic in the world doesn't mean simply attending Mass and fellowship groups (which should be done!), it also involves using experiences to build ourselves spiritually. We can use many different experiences to build our relationship with God, His Church, and the word. In this case we can even use wedding ceremonies to help us discern a particular vocation. It is also important to take thoughts and feelings and dig deeper. Below you will find some resources that have helped me along the way. Pax.

Resources:
1. "Discerning the Will of God" by Fr. Timothy Gallagher, OMV
2. "The Discernment of Spirits" by Fr. Timothy Gallagher, OMV
3. "To Save a Thousand Souls" by Fr. Brett A. Brannen