Introduction
The time has finally come. Pope Francis has published his
final word on the Synod on the Family. There has been a lot of confusion since
this synod took place. The media has certainly not helped due to its sound bite
driven analysis of events these days. The mark of Satan could certainly be
discerned as Catholics battled against each other over what this synod would
conclude. The media seemed to inform the masses that gay “marriage” would
finally be introduced into Catholic doctrine and that divorced and remarried
Catholics who did not receive a decree of annulment could receive the
Eucharist.
Oh my, were people set off. In a way I am glad people were
so passionate about this synod. It gives me hope that the laity still cares for
the Church, as it should. People’s passions revealed where the Church has a lot
of work to do in catechizing its members as well as amount of faithful
Catholics that still populate the earth. My take on Amoris Laetitia will be
from the viewpoint of a millennial. I will briefly comment on the condition of
the family, reintroduce Catholic doctrine on marriage and divorce, present
striking points made by Pope Francis, and finally discuss how they address the
concerns that my fellow millennials and I have.
The Family Condition
I believe it is important to note the present condition of
the family in the modern world when reading this exhortation. Pope Francis
published this teaching on love in the family in a world that is facing many
challenges, challenges that have had a tremendous impact on the status of the
family. Pope Bl. Paul VI pointed out in his landmark encyclical Humanae Vitae
that “man has made stupendous progress in the mastery and rational organization
of forces of nature… to the body, to psychic life, to social life and even to
the laws that regulate the transmission of life” (Humanae Vitae, 2). This
mastery of nature has led the developed world to skew the natural order of the
family. Ever since man’s ability to interrupt the natural order, tinkering
began in short order. The family is in disarray as a result of man’s tinkering.
Man’s tinkering has also led to a disordered redefining of
family. Instead of viewing family as a concrete institution put in place via
the natural order, family is now seen as a fluid apparatus that is at the mercy
of varying circumstances, whether biological, social, economic, or varying
combinations of the three. This has produced an environment of chaos, with no
definitive end in sight. It seems that every few election cycles new social
norms are introduced, norms that are outside of the natural order. After the
natural father-mother family unit, we have introduced the single parent family
unit, to a same sex family unit, and in recent years a multi-parent family unit
as societal norms. And when it comes to defining marriage itself it goes beyond
even these.
The Definition of
Marriage and Family
I do not believe the goals of this article necessitate a
complete analysis of the book of Genesis, where the initial definition of
family is introduced. I believe most Christians and non-Christians alike know
of the man and woman, the Adam and Eve God created. Therefore, let us begin in
the New Testament with Christ’s teaching on marriage and divorce. On marriage
Jesus states in Mark, “But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male
and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother [and be
joined to his wife], and the two shall become one flesh’” (Mark 10:6-8). Jesus
was citing Genesis 1:27 (which continues to say in verse 28, “Be fertile and
multiply”), and 2:24, thus affirming that marriage is indeed between one man
and one woman.
On divorce Jesus states in Matthew, “But I say to you,
whoever divorces his wife (unless the marriage is unlawful) causes her to
commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery” (Matt.
5:32). The same teaching can be found in Mark 10:11-12 and Luke 16:18. Jesus is
affirming the Sixth Commandment commanding the faithful not to commit adultery.
Since being divorced without and annulment and remarrying is living in adultery
(a mortal sin), one cannot receive communion.
Key Points of Impact
in Amoris Laetitia
1. We hear an echo of
the command found in the Book of Genesis
Pope Francis follows his introduction with a chapter on
scriptural grounding. He titles this Chapter “In The Light of the Word”.
Although I did not offer an in-depth analysis of Genesis in this article, I did
impress upon its importance using Jesus’ affirmations on marriage and divorce.
Pope Francis, too, places the Genesis accounts of family structure in a place
of prominence (Amoris Laetitia, para. 9-13). It is important for a us to follow Christ’s example
and remember the words of our Creator. This is especially important in a
society that has strayed far from them.
2. The ideal of
marriage… is swept aside whenever it proves inconvenient or tiresome
In paragraphs 32-49 the Holy Father addresses the reality of
marriage today. He acknowledges that there is a fear of entrapment that could
hinder one’s personal goals. I am glad he recognizes this. All too often when I
ask my friends and peers about marriage and children (family) that they list a
number of things they feel they need to achieve before even becoming engaged. I
fear marriage has turned into a societal status indicator. We have equated
marriage with success and perfection, a destination. And kids don’t
enter the conversation until after all of this is achieved. We must reclaim the
idea that marriage is a journey not a destination.
3. No union that is
temporary or closed to… life can ensure the future of society
A major talking point of the media revolved around the idea
that this synod would loosen doctrines on marriage to include blessing same-sex
“marriages”. In paragraph 52 the Pontiff is quite clear when he says, “We need
to acknowledge the great variety of family situations than can offer a certain
stability, but de facto or same-sex unions, for example, may not simply be
equated with marriage”. He goes on to also discuss the different legislative
maneuvers different countries are making to dismantle marriage, “based almost
exclusively on the autonomy of the individual will” (AL, 53). This is an
accurate analysis of what is happening, especially in the developed world. We
have become all about self-fulfillment.
4. One of the
fundamental challenges facing families is… raising children
In this point I have highlighted we find ourselves in
chapter three entitled, “Looking to Jesus: The Vocation of the Family”. Pope
Francis expresses that the Synod Fathers wanted it emphasized that raising
children is a fundamental challenge facing families today (AL, 84). I am glad
this point was made. With the direction cultures (particularly in the West) are
moving, raising children in an environment faithful the Gospel is seemingly
impossible. Later in the same paragraph Pope Francis clearly states, “Schools
do not replace parents, but complement them” (ibid). Looking at the state of
public schools in America one can see why this fundamental challenge exists.
Children are discouraged or even forbidden from expressing their faith. This
leads to the introduction of evil that takes root during the adolescent years
and blooms shortly thereafter leading many souls astray. I myself experienced
this. Without a presence of faith, vices were permitted to grow, and once off
in college as a young adult these vices seemingly became cemented in my being.
5. Love is more than a
feeling
In Chapter Four The Holy Father gives an exegesis of St.
Paul’s famous proclamation of love (1 Corinthians 13:4-7, “love is patient,
love is kind…”) and uses it to explain love in marriage. What struck me here
was his reiteration that “love is more than a mere feeling” (AL, 94). He states,
“Rather, it should be understood along the lines of the Hebrew verb ‘to love’;
it is ‘to do good’” (ibid). I think love, as service to others, needs to be an
attitude that is in desperate need of being recaptured. A goal of marriage, as
Pope Bl. Paul VI describes, is “helping each other to personal perfection in
order to collaborate with God in the begetting and rearing of new lives”
(Humanae Vitae, para. 8). This goal can only be accomplished when love blossoms from
a feeling into doing good as Pope Francis points out.
6. Love forgives
From my perspective I see many relationships in trouble or
ending due to a lack of forgiveness and a desire for absolute conformity to the
wants of the party who is crying foul. If forgiveness is not present in a
relationship, Pope Francis warns, “The just desire to see our rights respected
turns into a thirst for vengeance rather than a reasoned defense of our
dignity” (HV, 105). How many times do we see the passive aggressive comments
from one partner toward the other on social media? How many times do we see a
person get dumped for not conforming to a seemingly small requirement of the
other? To foster long-lasting, strong, and resilient relationships forgiveness
is a must. Pope Francis recognizes this and urges men and women to find
forgiveness in imperfection.
7. God loves the joy
of his children
I love this part
(AL, 147), because it sheds light on an accusation that the Church is
against anything fun when it comes to love. Many times this accusation is used
as a justification of sin, however sometimes it is used simply to attack the
Church. Pope Francis reintroduces the teachings of Pope Benedict XVI on love as
eros, eros being one of the Ancient Greek words for love meaning intimate or
romantic love. Pope Benedict XVI states in his encyclical “Deus Caritas Est”
(God is Love) that the Church seeks to prevent the dehumanization of eros
stating, “Evidently, eros needs to be disciplined and purified if it is to
provide, not just fleeting pleasure, but a certain foretaste of the pinnacle of
our existence, of that beatitude for which our whole being yearns” (Deus
Caritas Est, para. 4).
It is certainly evident that the world has dehumanized eros
into a commodity as Pope Benedict XVI puts it (DCE, 5). Intimacy is largely a
method through which we achieve sexual gratification satisfying ourselves
rather than seeking to grow in union with a spouse with the openness to produce
the fruit of a true eros, children. This true eros is also not far removed from
agape – an unconditional love. Eros and agape in the truest sense are not
opposed. Rather they are complementary. Pope Francis makes it clear when he
states, “In no way, then, can we consider the erotic dimension of love simply
as a permissible evil or a burden to be tolerated for the good of the family.
Rather, it must be seen as [a] gift from God that enriches the relationship of
the spouses” (AL, 152).
8. Love made fruitful
This is a beautiful chapter (Chapter Five “Love Made
Fruitful”) that discusses the value of children. Pope Francis makes it
abundantly clear that thinking “unwanted pregnancies” (my term) are mistakes is
shameful (AL, 166). He beautifully proclaims that, “A child is a human being
of immense worth… So it matters litte whether this new life is convenient for
you, whether it has features that please you, or whether it fits into your life
plans and aspirations” (AL, 170). How many times do we hear of abortions
being sought simply because the pregnancy was a mistake and that it is a bad time?
Or how many times do we hear of couples holding off on having children because they
want to do certain things? The fruit of love in marriage is children. What
greater fruit exists than the new flesh of a united flesh being brought into
the world?
Other Points
Pope Francis goes on to discuss the importance of motherhood
and fatherhood. He also addresses the importance of providing Seminarians
access to parishes so that they may have a clearer understanding of marriage
once they become a spiritual father of their parish. He cites the Synod
Fathers’ emphasis of the need for quality marriage preparation. He also goes on
to address divorce and remarriage citing a need for mercy and proper
discernment of specific circumstances. The main vibe I get from this
exhortation is one of mercy rather than condemnation, which is fitting for the
Jubilee of Mercy. I appreciate him avoiding the temptation to scold the world
of its wrongs regarding marriage.
Addressing Concerns
It is my belief that the points that struck me would also strike
my fellow millenials. In the points that impacted me, Pope Francis discussed
the fear of not achieving certain goals, homosexual unions (albeit briefly), the
difficulty of raising children, the true meaning of love, the value of children,
and marriage preparation. These issues are issues I come across frequently when
discussing marriage with peers. These issues are certainly on their minds.
In a world of economic instability, financial insecurity,
and a “you only live once” attitude, it is absolutely important for millenials to
be able to accomplish certain dreams and be able to establish a stable
environment for raising children in a world of economic troubles. I believe the
fear mongering that we are subjected to on a daily basis contributes to the
anxiety over achieving certain dreams. It is important for the Church to help
millenials reclaim faith in Christ and hope for the future.
Homosexuality is an issue that certainly needs to be
addressed (not obsessed over) and discussed. I mainly included Pope Francis’
comments on homosexual unions to reiterate the Church’s teaching on homosexual
unions, seeing as the media greatly distorts Pope Francis’ words regarding the
matter. The media is leading most of my peers astray when it comes to the Church
and homosexuality.
Conclusion
Amoris Laetitia is a beautiful document that I believe will
be used especially in marriage preparation. Pope Francis beautifully emphasizes
the importance of faith in God when it comes to marriage. His firm conviction
of mercy is woven through out this work. I believe that Pope Francis truly
seeks a world renewed to the idea of mercy and trust in one’s neighbor. Trust
in God and spouse is a key theme in his teaching on marriage.
The Pontiff’s points of advice are practical as he
highlights specific actions a couple can take to preserve the true love of a
young couple or rekindle long lost love in an older couple. He truly seeks good
fruits for couples that are journeying together in faith and love of God. In
doing this, he also takes care to address his teachings on love in marriage to
the clergy that is responsible for preparing couples and helping couples along
the way.
The Joy of Love, the title of this exhortation, is truly on
display in this proclamation. As I noted earlier, this is a welcome style when
it could be so easy to turn this topic into one of hardness, condemnation, and admonition.
While evils around marriage certainly exist (Pope Francis acknowledges this),
he seeks to highlight the beauty that does exist in marriage. Pope Francis makes
it abundantly clear that the joy of love does exist and that the Church has a
responsibility to convey this to the faithful in ways they can understand so
that the married couples can be witnesses to this gioia di dio; the joy of God.
