StCYM: Moving Forward! III (6 MAY 18)

We concluded our series "Moving Forward!" with a discussion on responsibilities regarding various decisions that need to be made in high school. These discussions addressed key aspects of decision making that are important to include. We also had time to play games (as promised) and write letters to the eighth graders. We concluded with a word storm prayer regarding decision making.

When discussing responsibilities we identified a preparation process before taking the big leap. For example, when applying to a college it is important to do the things necessary to make the application stand out. Simply applying will make it difficult to gain acceptance. A student needs to be involved in high school to make their application mean something. This involvement includes getting good grades and being involved in various clubs.

We also discussed our responsibilities regarding the Faith. We are responsible for following the Church's teachings. Participating in the Sacraments and serving others are major responsibilities that will impact our disposition and can positively influence our decision making process. When making a major decision it is important to go to Mass regularly and pray fervently. Doing this will not only create a stable structure, which creates peace, but it will also get God involved in our lives. God wants us to involve Him verything we do.

Moving forward (see what I did there?), we will learn about Mary the Mother of God, enjoy the weather, invite the 8th graders for another open house, and conclude the spring semester with a cookout. I look forward to what summer has in store and what the Holy Spirit will do in this ministry.

Discerning the Will of God: Discovering Yourself

Much of a person discerning a particular vocation is geared toward finding God. This is certainly good, because to realize God's Will requires a relationship with God. This is common for me as well. However, I often lose myself when looking for God. Sure, gaining God and losing oneself is biblical (Matthew 16:25), but when does looking for God turn into building God? When does discerning God's Will become building God's Will? In recent months I have answered this question.

Over the past few months a great amount of healing took place. I finally reached the freedom to choose or the equilibrium required to make the best decision regarding the clarity from God through discernment. I finally opened the door to my heart after leaving it sealed off for years. This was all thanks to God's goodness, a great group of friends, a persistent youth minister, and an amazing vocation director. In discussion with our vocation director, I was referred to an amazing book titled "Living Celibacy" by Gerdenio Sonny Manuel, SJ. It discussed celibacy from a psychological perspective, which was very helpful. It turned out to be my next "Apostolicam moment".

My last Apostolicam moment came in 2012 when I was at a Latin Mass with my Lutheran seminary class, which moved me to return to the Church. This time I was moved to open the door to my heart. When I opened this door I addressed what was within it through prayer, therapy, and great conversations with friends and priests. When I reached equilibrium I could no longer deny what I was doing for the past several years; I was not receiving my vocation, I was building one. I was constructing my tower of Babel and it was time for it to come crashing down.

For a few weeks following this I discerned where my mind AND heart were being led. I can say with confidence they are being led, not forced, away from the priesthood and toward marriage. This may come as a shock to many of you because of my stubborn stance regarding where I wanted to go despite what it would do to me. Going back to Matthew 16:25, I was seeking to make my life and ignore Christ's call. I was losing myself to my tower of Babel. I was attempting to construct the Will of God. When I opened the door to my heart, the Holy Spirit was so clear and this clarity requires action.

Since rediscovering all of myself, my life has improved. My prayer is more fruitful and my relationship with God is stronger. I am filled with true joy once again and my friends and colleagues have noticed. Even people that didn't know my much of my discernment recognized a refreshment since making this decision to discern marriage. This joy is from God and it is beautiful beyond words. I have a hard time putting this refreshment into words.

Thank you all for your many years of prayers and support. Thank you for your patience and love it means a lot to me. I apologize for any pain I caused due to my blindness. God is good! God will provide! I am overjoyed by God's goodness. To Him belongs all praise and glory. Now that I have allowed my heart to have a say, I can move forward glorifying God better than before! I am excited for what the future holds! Thank you again and God bless you all!

Pax,

Johannes


Deus invictus! Deus providebit!

StCYM: Moving Forward! II (29 APR 18)

This week we met, once again, to continue our series called "Moving Forward!". And, once again, we had no time for games because of the good discussions we were having. Next week, I promise, we will have time for games. I love how the discussions are going! I can see the underclassmen really opening up to the upperclassmen and a bond is growing and discipleship is beginning to exist. This is a beautiful direction that I envisioned the group going in. God is certainly good!

Before we entered into the discussions we played a decision making game called "bomb shelter". In this game the group is in a post-nuclear scenario where they are in a bunker with two years of supplies until the radiation goes away. However, the shelter can only sustain a certain number of individuals. The group had to decide who had to go. The purpose of this exercise is to analyze how decisions are made. The goal was to identify those methods and question their moral rigidity. We learned that most decisions were made due to stereotypes. 

Last week we discussed our disposition before making big decisions. This week we looked at how to go about making decisions. We asked ourselves three questions when facing a big decision; "what does my heart say?", "what does my mind say?", and "what does God say through His Church?". In the small groups we then discussed how fears and peer pressure can impact our decision making abilities. Among the major decisions were dating, post high school endeavors, and friendships. We also discussed how Church teaching should influence our decisions and how it can challenge us when society teaches differently.

Next week we will discuss taking action, since clarity requires that we do. We will go into how to move forward after big decisions are made and what the consequences are. We will also prepare for the 8th graders that are returning on 20 May for their second open house visit to StCYM. It will be a great time. And, yes, we will have time for games!

Pax,

Johannes

StCYM: Moving Forward! I (22 APR 18)

This week we started our next series I've titled "Moving Forward!". During this series we will discover how we move forward following the soul training we received during Lent. We will focus on discerning major life decisions that currently apply to our lives (what to do after college, what extracurriculars to be a part of, which relationships to maintain or end, etc.). Discernment is not just for a particular vocation, it is something we ought to do for every major life decision.

We began this week by looking at our disposition. Throughout this series we will use Ignatian rules for discernment. To begin a proper discernment, the key is to have the proper disposition. To have the proper disposition we need to recognize what our current state in life is. We discussed questions such as "How is my spiritual, emotional, mental health?", "What are things that hold me back?", "How is my prayer life?", "Does God seem close or distant?", "Am I in any toxic relationships/friendships?", "How is my relationship with the Church?" and others. The discussions were good and lasted the entire evening. We didn't even have time for games!

The teens mentioned how relevant these discussions are in their lives at the moment. They have big decisions to make that require good discernment. This is why providing the tools to discern properly is very important to teens at this stage in their lives. What teens do now can have an impact on what they do 10 years from now or maybe more. Including God and others in our decision making process in a healthy way will produce the good fruit we are all called to produce. Next week we will continue this discussion by discussing how to move forward once we have the proper disposition. Please pray for the teens as they are making their major decisions.

Pax,

Johannes

StCYM: 8th Grader Open House (15 APR 18)

I am very grateful to God for the direction StCYM is moving. I am seeing teens step up and take ownership of their faith and encouraging their peers to do the same. This continued during our eighth grader open house last night. Two of the freshman gave a brief talk on their transition from eighth grade to ninth grade. The group also discussed what StCYM does and what its purpose is. It was amazing to see the teens take charge.

Last night we had a full house. We began the night in prayer and transitioned into our group sessions. I divided the group in two. One would stay downstairs while the other went upstairs. One group talked about the transition from middle school to high school, while the other group discussed what happens at StCYM and what people would want to see happen. After 15 minutes or so we switched. Following the group sessions we transitioned into game time! We had teens playing on the Wii and, the classic, Scattergories. The game room was also filled with teens playing Foosball, table tennis, and air hockey. It was a night of great energy. The food was great too.

I am excited to see where this goes. It was great to see the eighth graders and the first timers that were invited. Our next eighth grader open house is scheduled for 20 May. If it is anything like last night, it will be an amazing one too. We have great things planned here at StCYM and the Holy Spirit is very much at work in all of it. Thank you for all of your prayers and support. It means a lot to us as we continue to journey on the narrow path.

Pax

StCYM: Mega-SNS/Lock-in/Escape Room (1, 6, 8 APR 18)

This week was a particularly busy week. We continue to celebrate the triumph of our Lord over death, we had a Mega-SNS, a lock-in, and a trip to the escape room. This week was all about living it up because God gave us such a great life to live. We celebrate this gift by being the most of ourselves and seeking to glorify God in everything we do. Although my knees are not happy with me for the pain I put them through this week, it was definitely worth it.

We begin with the Mega-SNS where we enjoy our time together for two extra hours. We played a new game called consequence trivia where we had to do challenges to steal lost points. It was outrageously fun to play. A little gross, but mostly fun. I even wore an old suit to play the part of game show host. It was a great time playing basketball, hide and seek, and watching movies. We of course also enjoy our fair share of snacks.

Five days later we did it all over again, except this time we spent the night, thus having even more fun. I hope by now we all caught up on sleep because we certainly did not sleep from Friday into Saturday. We began the lock-in discussing how to move forward from the soul training we endured during Lent. We discussed our concerns and desires. In April we are focusing on moving forward and so we started out by laying the foundation with the help of Sacred Scripture and small group discussion. We enjoyed movies like The Greatest Showman and hit the basketball court again. After a few rounds of hide and seek we returned to the house to play video games and cards. We also ate more amazing food and had good conversations. The air hockey table was a spot for great competition. After watching the sunrise and realizing that sleep was necessary, the lock-in concluded.

This past Sunday we visited the escape room in North Olmsted to practice our team work and problem solving skills. The group in the Mad Scientist room made it out with slightly under ten minutes to spare, while the Sherlock room group ran out of time. They were very close to getting out. Afterward the teens enjoyed a stop at Malley's for some chocolate and milk shakes. It was a great Sunday. We are energized and excited to host the eighth graders at our first open house of the year. We look forward to sharing the greatness of StCYM with them.

As I continue to walk with this group, I am reminded of how awesome life can be. It is easy to get caught up in life taking care of the little things and lose site of the precious gift we have. The teens help me realize the beauty of this gift. St. Clarence is blessed with a great group of teens. I am continuing to learn about them and enjoy what I am learning from them as well. Teens today are in great need of support because they are living adult lives more and more. I don't remember being half as busy as society keeps them today. We should consider it our duty to pay attention to them and walk with them lest we lose them. Teens are a great asset to the Church and its mission.

Pax,

Johannes

StCYM: Holy Week (25 MAR 18)

We have reached the final stretch of Lent. This week we reflect on the significance of Christ's Passion. We reflect on what was given to humanity as a result of God the Son's dying knowing of the coming rising. This week we finished up our discussion series with knowing our purpose in life and what happens after we die. Personally, it was interesting to hear the perspective of the teens regarding various topics.

Following the discussions, we watched the second half of The Passion of the Christ. This was a very raw portrayal of our Lord's Passion. The violence was very intense, but done with purpose and not simply for show. I noticed myself reflecting on Christ's wounds and their significance. It is our sinfulness that caused Christ's wounds. He is completely innocent, yet took the punishment owed us. What an act of love!

Throughout the movie there are flashbacks of Christ's ministry. He shows us God's goodness despite our failings. The primary mission of Christ is, indeed, salvation and not condemnation. This is not to ignore the fact that we have the free will to condemn ourselves, should we not believe and follow Christ and His teachings. However, Christ came to show the world God's light and His love for creation. He then taught us to go forth and share this same love ourselves!

Holy Week completes the saving work of God. God became flesh so that he could shoulder the weight of condemnation for it. Once this is complete, God moves ever forward in sharing the love that is born out of sacrifice. Love born out of sacrifice is the strongest form of love since it requires a complete denial of self in varying degrees. God's form of love is the strongest in existence because He, being the most perfect being, sacrificed Himself. Christ denied His divinity on the Cross by remaining on it. Christ could have chosen to come down, but remained.

This denial of the highest degree of perfection should motivate us to glorify God in all that we do! God took care of the hardest part and gives us the Holy Spirit to keep up the little things. We are truly an Easter people as St. John Paul II proclaimed. It is during Holy Week that we recognize this amazing potential due to God's supreme sacrifice. Let us go forward boldly and prepare ourselves, once again, to celebrate the victory.

StCYM: The Passion of the Christ (18 MAR 18)

Last night we met once again to continue our Lenten journey. To begin the night we played two good rounds of "Lean On Me", a game where you and a partner are back to back and have to stand up without using your hands for support. It was Seniors vs. the World and the Seniors swept the World 2-0. Following the madness, we had good discussions on the topics of Satan and also Homosexuality as we continued our discussion series based on Life Teen's 100 Things Every Catholic Teen Should Know. We finished our last hour with the viewing of the first half of The Passion of the Christ.

The Passion of the Christ is arguably the best Christian film ever produced. In my humble opinion it even beats the legendary The Ten Commandments. The reason I find it so good is the amount of attention that was paid to the details in the portrayal of Christ's Passion. The film is in Aramaic and Latin, which is astonishing because those two languages are considered dead. While Latin is technically still alive as it is the official language of the Holy See and the Church and Aramaic is only used by a small group of peoples in areas in Syria, Turkey, and Iraq (Syriac Christians), the contemporary world does not truly know these two languages. Experts were hired to translate the script from English into Aramaic and Latin.

The second reason this film captivates me is the attention to how Christ's Passion connects to key people in Christian history (Mary, Peter, John, etc.) using specific imagery and the like to make those connections noticeable, yet not to the degree where they take away from the natural flow of the story being told. The reality of the violence Christ faced is also very impactful. When you weigh your guilt against Christ's innocence, while seeing his torment, the film has a striking reality to it that goes far beyond what is normally felt when watching films based on a true story. The Passion is felt in the heart.

Next week we will conclude our discussions, review our Lenten journey, and then prepare for Holy Week. We will also conclude our viewing of the film. It is my prayer that it has a prolonged impact on our faith as we prepare to move forward into the Easter season and beyond. I wish you all a fruitful remainder of Lent. God bless you.

Pax,

Johannes

StCYM: Death Row Story (11 MAR 18)

Last night we were honored to welcome Joe D'Ambrosio and our Pastor, Fr. Neil, to Sunday Night Session. It was a night focused on the incredible story of a death row inmate (Joe) fighting to be exonerated. To begin the night, we of course feasted on delicious mozzarella sticks and chicken nuggets. Once we were about done getting our fill, we watched the episode of CNN's Death Row Stories that told Joe's story.

As a man who cares for justice and has a degree in criminal justice, this episode was hard to watch without getting upset. The lies by the investigators, the inconsistent affidavits, the lack of proper investigation, the inconsistent medical evidence, the lack of evidence, etc, all made for a terrible case. I am amazed that a capital murder trial could be so tainted. I am also amazed at Joe's resilience throughout the ordeal. I question if I would have fought so hard for so long (22 years) or if I would have given up after a mere few years and accepted my fate (death). I hope my inclination would be to keep fighting.

What Fr. Neil did was incredible. He visited the imprisoned as Christ teaches us to do, but he went even further, he fought for justice. It was a long battle, that with the courageous actions of witnesses and judges, turned out in favor of Joe. What captivated me the most about Joe coming out of death row was his embrace of silence. He briefly discussed the noise of prison life and how there was no peace for 24 hours a day so, he would simply sit in darkness and silence or go outside and simply stare at the stars.

I think this is a fitting story during Lent when we wander into the desert to look inside ourselves and realize God's goodness. Joe prayed for 22 years for God to deliver him and He did. Many of us would say, "Wow, it took God 22 years to answer Joe's prayer; the prayer of an innocent man!" However, as Joe reminded us, God doesn't work on our time. We are not privy to the wisdom and knowledge of God. We often believe God is hurting us or abandoning us. That is a lie! Reject this lie immediately when you hear it! It is also important to note that Joe has forgiven those that did him wrong and that wanted him dead! This is profound! How hard is it for us to forgive those who merely offend us, yet this man who was sentenced to die can forgive those that sent him to death row. This is very Christ-like and something we should emulate.

As we move forward toward the Victory of Christ, I challenge us to recognize the noise and make time to simply be in silence and appreciate life itself. Let us praise God for simply being. I know I certainly need to embrace silence, because there is profound power in it. It often amazes me that when we have less, we actually have more. The less we have, the more God can occupy. And what God occupies is certainly good.

Pax,

Johannes


Deus Providebit!

Reflection on All Souls Day

Commemoration of All the Faithful Departed (All Souls)
- Readings: Wisdom 3:1-9; Psalm 23:1-6; Romans 5:5-11 or 6:3-9; John 6:37-40

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“As gold in the furnace, he proved them…” (Wis. 3:6). Today on All Souls Day we remember the souls in purgatory as they undergo purification before entering heaven. Purgatory is defined by the Church as “the state of those who die in God’s friendship, assured of their eternal salvation, but who still have need of purification to enter into the happiness of heaven,” (Compendium of the Catechism of the Catholic Church, 210).

To enter into heaven, a place that contains no impurities because it is perfection, one must be pure. Since God is all perfect, to be wrapped in His grace in heaven requires perfection. Purgatory is the purification of one’s soul before entering heaven. We are "gold" thanks to our baptism, through which we die and rise with Christ (cf. Rom. 6:3-4), and due to our sinfulness, we must be purified to cleanse us of our impurities. The Church does not have a firm teaching in how long this purification process lasts. It is perfectly reasonable to believe that the more stains a soul possesses the longer the purification will take.

The Church sets aside the Commemoration of All the Faithful Departed, more commonly known as All Souls, to remember them and pray for them. In today’s first reading St. Paul teaches us about Christ’s death as the means of reconciling with us sinners (Rom. 5:6-11). We should not grow weary of death! We should embrace it with confidence if we are walking with Christ!

The Church Suffering (souls in purgatory) has the hope of salvation, because they are guaranteed to enter it. Praying for them during this process helps shower them with grace. Praying for the souls in purgatory also reminds us of our spiritual lives. Are we living for Christ? Are we seeking purification while on earth? It is also perfectly reasonable to expect a shorter time in purgatory if we prevent our souls from acquiring many stains.

With the souls in purgatory in our prayers, let us march forward as servants of God called to be missionary disciples. Let us carry this hope of salvation wherever we go and be a witness to it! God’s will is for us to have eternal life (John 6:40)! Let us respond to God’s Will with a resounding “yes!”. Amen.

God is good!

Deus Invictus! Credo Domine!

Throwback Thursday: Sermon on Mark 4:35-42

While I was a prospective Lutheran seminarian and as a Lutheran seminarian, I was given opportunities to preach at my former church. I would be lying if these moments did not have a large impact on my faith journey. In this second Throwback Thursday post, I would like to share my sermon on Mark 4:35-42. I believe the reason I recorded the rehearsal was, because the table I used last time would be used by the bell choir. My sermon outline is at the bottom.

Credo Domine

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Sermon on Mark 4:35-41 (2 Corinthians 6:1-13)

Intro:

-        - Water is the most powerful force in nature (good and bad)

-       -  Water is also most powerful natural element spiritually (Baptism)

-       -  Water is still very significant in today’s cultures (lead into points from Mark)

Main Points from Mark:

-        - Water has significance in Hebrew culture

-        - God can control the water (Job 38:8-11)

-        - Disciples were shocked that Jesus has the power to control the water (Psalm 107:28-30)

-        - Although Jesus was with them a storm still arose

-        - Disciples approached Jesus in an unfaithful way

-        - What do we do when a storm forms in our lives?

-        - How do we approach Jesus during these storms?

-        - We must be faithful and trust in the Lord

Main Points from 2 Corinthians:

-        - Do not accept God’s grace in vain

-        - God listen’s to us at the proper time and saves us accordingly

-        - The strength of a Christian has been displayed in many ways

-        - We should open our hearts to the Good News

Catholic Uniqueness: Catholicism is Weird

"It's weird being Catholic. It really is." Jimmy Kimmel is on to something here. When we compare Catholic practices and teachings to our surroundings in the post modern society they are becoming more and more different. Especially when looking at Catholicism without any context or knowledge of it, does it come across as some strange cult. We go to Mass on Sunday to consume the body and blood of a man that was killed almost 2000 years ago. We don't eat meat on Fridays. The Catholic Church preaches no sex before marriage. Catholics get ash on their foreheads on a random Wednesday known as Ash Wednesday in late winter. There is no meat on Fridays in lent. Catholics have to confess their darkest of secrets to a man in a dress (as George and Jimmy call liturgical attire), and so on.

As you read the introduction you probably concurred with my analysis of society's ignorant view of Catholicism; and it certainly doesn't help when Catholics or former Catholics contribute to the ignorance. What is becoming more and more difficult is being comfortable with being Catholic. What I mean by this is being comfortable with embracing the fact that we are called to be different or "weird". The name of this blog is actually based on the reality that being Catholic is to be set apart for the rest of the world. We are to be in the world and not of the world.

1 John 2:15-16 states, "Do not love the world or the things of the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, sensual lust, enticement for the eyes, and a pretentious life, is not from the Father but from this world." The author in 1 John makes a clear distinction. James in James 4:4 is a bit more aggressive, "Adulterers! Do you not know that to be a lover of the world means enmity with God? Therefore, whoever wants to be a lover of the world makes himself an enemy of God." This distinction is found else where in Sacred Scripture. I think it is good to reflect on the words of Christ Himself in John 15: 18-21, "18 If the world hates you, realize that it hated me first. 19 If you belonged to the world, the world would love its own; but because you do not belong to the world, and I have chosen you out of the world, the world hates you. 20 Remember the word I spoke to you, 'No slave is greater than his master.' If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you. If they kept my word, they will also keep yours. 21 And they will do all these things to you on account of my name, because they do not know the one who sent me."

I like to believe that the Jubilee Year of Mercy is a year where we approach others with verse 21 serving as a lens of sorts. The New Evangelization has taken a look at how the Church as a whole communicates with the world. If we seek to evangelize using only James 4:4 we are doing the Lord no service. James 4:4 was written to an audience that knew either Church teaching or Jewish teachings. In our post modern world the general audience knows neither, and therefore James 4:4 will only alienate the world more than it already is. Meeting someone where they are, "because they do not know the one who sent [Jesus]", is the loving approach needed to properly evangelize.

In seeking to evangelize properly, however, a few things have happened in recent history that have hurt our efforts to engage the world no matter the good intentions behind them. This leads me to discuss the three liturgical corrections that need to be made as written in the article, Three Liturgical Changes We Need Now, found in Crisis Magazine. In short the three corrections are; moving the tabernacle back to the center, celebrating Mass Ad Orientem (facing "east"), and restoring the reception of the Eucharist on the tongue.

Full disclosure, I agree with all three corrections proposed in the article. The first correction has a very literal and direct purpose; to put Christ back in the center of the church. Sure during the Liturgy of the Eucharist Christ certainly is the center of the Mass, but in many places (including our Cathedral in Cleveland) outside of Mass Christ is literally off to the side. If we truly believe in the True Presence, then should Christ not be the center piece of the church? The center where our body is naturally positioned and our eyes focused? I think the article puts it perfectly when it states, "Mysteriously, the Presence is offered to the glance; the person, whether stranger, or child, or wanderer, apprehends holiness. Many have been converted by this Presence alone. Seeking shelter in a place he vaguely perceives as other, as set apart, the pilgrim finds what he didn’t know he was looking for."

The second correction is one that before Vatican II literally set us apart from the rest of Western Christianity. Before Vatican II the Church (for starters celebrated in Latin) celebrated Mass with the Priest joining the faithful in facing Ad Orientem (toward the east). In the spirit of Vatican II, through which sadly many things are permitted, the Novus Ordo is celebrated with the priest versus populum (facing the faithful) as in Protestant churches. In my opinion and the opinion shared by the author of the article is that facing Ad Orientem places the focus in the proper place; toward God. It is easy for humans to get into what the priest is doing, how he is doing, and the other human mannerism. This takes away from the true purpose of the Mass, which is to praise and worship God for revealing Himself to us. To which, then Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger, now Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI says, "Only for this reason [God's revelation to us] do we know him; only for this reason can we confidently pray to him everywhere. And precisely for this reason is it appropriate, now as in the past, that we should express in Christian prayer our turning to God who has revealed himself to us." (The Spirit of the Liturgy, p. 75-76). Benedict XVI ultimately resolves the issue stating, "Where a direct common turning the east is not possible, the cross can serve as the interior "east" of faith. It should stand in the middle of the altar and be the common point of focus for both priest and prayer community." He goes on to say, "This mistake should be corrected as quickly as possible; it can be done without further rebuilding. The Lord is the point of reference." (p. 84).

The third correction is one that will take humility. I have come to the point in my personal piety that I feel it absolutely necessary to kneel and receive the Blessed Sacrament on my tongue. I firmly believe in the true presence of Christ, and therefore concluded that, "Who am I to stand before the presence of God?" Every knee shall bend before the Lord and mine are included. Kneeling and receiving on the tongue are physical ways that we can remind ourselves of the Sacredness of the Holy Eucharist. It helps in feeling how holy this Sacrament truly is. I like how the article ends this point, "Once communion on the tongue is restored, we’ll find that it’s more practical to distribute it if the people kneel. Soon, we’ll rediscover the efficiency of the communion rail. We will better understand the priest’s irreplaceability. We’ll find that we are fostering the priest’s fatherly, pastoral intimacy with his flock as he feeds them."

Catholicism is supposed to be weird in the eyes of the world! A good and faithful Catholic will embrace the uniqueness of our Faith. We are set apart from the world through Christ who came to save us from the trappings of it. It is very dangerous to seek normalcy with the world or to make Catholicism less weird. We are supposed to be unique, because Christ is unique. Ultimately what we do is for Christ and through Christ. So I challenge you to find ways to embrace the uniqueness of Catholicism. Credo Domine.

***

Resources:
1. The Catholic Bible (New American Revised Edition), Oxford University Press.
2. "The Spirit of the Liturgy" by Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger, Ignatius Press.
3. "Three Liturgical Changes We Need Now" by Leila Marie Lawler, crisismagazine.com.

Discipline Prayer Discipline (DPD)

I. DPD Overview
Discipline, prayer, and discipline (DPD). No, that is not a typo or a mistake it is a way to go forward in pursuit of a strong faith in the midst of "toxic" environments. I had a short, but fruitful conversation with a college student today via Facebook, and the question was focused on maintaining your faith, while being around seemingly toxic people and places with an emphasis on an upcoming military life. I'm sure this person isn't the only college student that asks this, which is why I decided to write about it, hoping it reaches a few more people.

When it comes to discipline, discernment, and perseverance I am quick to turn to my Patron St. Paul the Apostle. One of the Church's greatest commanders (in this context commander as in Apostle or Bishop), St. Paul wrote a lot regarding proper practice doctrine. Sound like the military yet? The military is greatly concerned about proper techniques and doctrines. St. Paul is also greatly concerned with proper belief and practice, and rightly so! However, I will also focus on what the Great Apostle and first Vicar of Christ, St. Peter, has to say. As we meet at the corner of Peter and Paul this time, I will attempt to propose the DPD technique through the teachings of not only Christ, but the two Great Apostles Sts. Peter and Paul.


II. Discipline
I will begin with St. Paul and his teachings in 1 Corinthians 11:29-32. In Chapter 11 St. Paul discusses women's headdresses and the Eucharist or Lord's Supper. For the purposes of this post I will focus on the later. In verses 27-28 he states that eating and drinking the Holy Supper unworthily will result in judgement. One should examine themselves before partaking. This sounds exclusive, and indeed many Protestant denominations mistake the Church's teaching regarding the Eucharist. That is another post. St. Paul goes on to say in verses 29-32, "For anyone who eats and drinks without discerning the body, eats and drinks judgement on himself. That is why many among you are ill and infirm, and a considerable number are dying. If we discerned ourselves, we would not be under judgement; but since we are judged by the Lord, we are being disciplined so that we may not be condemned along with the world," (1 Cor. 11:29-32 NAB). What a powerful statement!

What St. Paul is saying in these verses is that we must really understand and know of Christ's sacrifice, and cooperate in obeying the teachings. Obeying the teachings is in essence a way of knowing Christ's sacrifice. If I know Christ's sacrifice, would I not be inclined to work to sin less? I believe, and the Church believes, the answer is yes. St. Paul is teaching here that partaking in the Eucharist is a discipline! Obeying the teachings of Christ, and thus recognizing Christ's sacrifice, takes discipline. This is why I chose this passage to help in discussing DPD. To build up or maintain our faith in a world that often is toxic, we must begin with discipline. Faith is obviously the initial step, but beyond the starting point which is faith, step one is discipline. We must constantly examine ourselves and our relationship with our Lord and his Church. If we truly believe in Christ, we must do this frequently. Step one, discipline.


III. Prayer
Prayer, the second part of DPD, is the most beneficial and often neglected part of a life of a Christian. I often hear people say, "I'm a Christian. I believe in Jesus. I pray sometimes." Sometimes? My brothers and sisters (myself included here), let us pray often! Prayer can be very intimidating. "How do I pray?" "I sound like I'm whining." "God is probably tired of listening to me." "I'm a hypocrite and don't deserve to pray." Some of those statements are legitimate concerns, and the last one especially is despairing. God listens! When researching how to pray, let's start with the basics. The basic Christian prayer is in the Regulation (The Bible) and discussed heavily in the Field Manual (Catechism). I suggested that a good place to start a solid prayer life is with the Lord's prayer. What better way to start praying than with the prayer Christ himself taught us?

The Lord's Prayer as found in Matthew 6:9-13 (a shorter version is also presented in Luke 11):
"Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as in heaven. Give us today our daily bread; and forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors; and do not subject us to the final test, but deliver us from the evil one," (NAB).

Boom! There is our starting point. Let us build our prayer life on the foundation of Christ and the prayer he told us to pray! He gives us the foundation! From there we can grow a fruitful prayer life. If you have the discipline to get going, and build on the foundation prayer (Lord's Prayer), you will notice yourself praying more spontaneously in time. This is good! Step two, prayer.


IV. Discipline
For the final part of DPD we return discipline. I could have used the word persevere or motivation, which St. Paul and others also frequently discussed. I chose discipline again, because it takes more discipline to keep motivated and persevere during the storms. It is discipline that will allow us to keep on the armor of God that St. Paul discusses in Ephesians 6:10-17 (constant prayer is also discussed in this chapter). I have discussed St. Paul already, though, and will now discuss St. Peter's teachings in 1 Peter 2. The entire chapter is devoted to living a Christian life in a hostile world. Let us look first at 1 Peter 2:11 and it states, "Beloved, I urge you as aliens and sojourners to keep away from worldly desires that wage ware against the soul," (NAB). St. Peter is telling us to protect ourselves. He interestingly notes that the recipients of his letter are "aliens". This can be applied to us today. He addresses the readers as aliens, because the Christian is not of the world but in the world.

Verses 13, 16-17 are very interesting taking into account today's American political environment. In theses St. Peter discusses citizenry; "Be subject to every human institution for the Lord's sake... Be free, yet without using freedom as a pretext for evil, but as slaves of God. Give honor to all, love the community, fear God, honor the king," (NAB).  Pope Saint Peter tells us that we are not to be unnecessarily rebellious, but subjects of our government. He also tells us we are to use freedom for God and not for evil. Simply reflect on America today. Are we using freedom to build up God's Kingdom or to attempt to bring it down? This, also, is another post.


V. Conclusion
DPD; Discipline Prayer and Discipline. I believe this is a good way to enhance our faith that is in Christ. DPD is merely a tip to promote a life of faith by a humble follower of Christ. If there is something that works better at bringing you closer to Christ and his Church, by all means utilize it. You there is a better asset to complete a mission than the one you were given, would you not use it? Of course you would. I hope DPD is a motivator and and tool to place in the tool box. May we continue to look to Christ, using the saints before us and among us as guidance. Amen. Credo Domine.








Resource:
1. The Catholic Bible: Personal Study Edition. Second Edition. Jean Marie Hiesberger, editor. Oxford University Press. 2011.

Lent for the Busy Person

You may be like me on the day before Lent, better known as Mardi Gras or Fat Tuesday in the US, and make a list of Lenten promises to God. This list will include sacrifices, prayers, activities, and other things you will give up or do for Lent. If you are like me this list starts out fairly large. Not to boast, but here is an example of what my first list looked like:

If you are having trouble deciphering my beautiful calligraphy, the list reads:

1. No fast food 2. Facebook only on Fridays (Adoration Friday of course) 3. Daily Scripture reading 4. Finish "Jesus of Nazareth: From the Baptism in the Jordan to the Transfiguration" by Pope Benedict XVI and 30 day consecration ("33 days to Morning Glory" by Michael E. Gaitley) 5. Daily Rosary and Divine Chaplet 6. Daily Holy Hour (Eucharistic Adoration) 7. Gym three times per week.

You were probably chuckling by number four or five. What makes me chuckle is the line after the list which reads, "I think this is doable...." and then I add, "Also, praying more in Latin and Deutsch (German), and bed before 12am." To anyone counting, that is nine Lenten promises! Yes, nine! Sure, for a college student with a light course load this is possible, but I am not a college student with a light course load. You should have seen the reaction my spiritual director (Fr. Sean) had when I recited this list to him during my session with him. He had some good advice on how to refine this list. He broke it down into three categories (prayer, fasting, and alms giving). Here is my list following spiritual direction:

Again, my amazing calligraphy reads:

1. Prayer: a. Holy Hour three times per week minimum b. Daily Rosary and Chaplet of Divine Mercy

2. Fasting: a. Facebook (one post per day [must be spiritual], and no more than one total hour surf time per day)

3. Alms giving: a. Volunteer three times during Lent

4. Spiritual Reading: a. Finish "Jesus of Nazareth" and 33 Days to Morning Glory

Again, looking back this is a jam packed Lent. Lent is supposed to be challenging, absolutely! Lent is a time to wrestle with our faults and find ways to eliminate or reduce them as we walk with Christ. I must admit, that I have not been proactive enough in following through in this refined list. I know that I could offer up three hours a week for Eucharistic Adoration. I already do an assigned hour on Fridays. I  know I could be reading the amazing work by Pope Benedict XVI instead of watching the WWE Network (which is awesome by the way). With work and prayer, I can commit to this list. Instead of volunteering, I have given money to Harvest for Hunger instead almost each time that I buy something at work. Since I seem to go two weeks to a month with out a day off, finding time to volunteer is difficult, so I made an adjustment.

At this point you may be wondering when I'm going to come up with ideas for you the busy person. The idea is this; make your initial list, reflect on your daily duties, and then discuss this list with friends, family, or a priest. You will find that you can refine this list and still have a fruitful Lent. Lent is not simply about abstaining from things. Lent is about spiritual growth. The goal is to come up with a list of things that will help you grow spiritually. Our relationship with Christ and his Church matters, and Lent is a time to get back to the basics. These basics, as Fr. Sean (my spiritual director/Confessor) puts it, are prayer, fasting, and alms giving. Find one thing that you can do or sacrifice in each of these categories, and Lent will be a fruitful one for you.

God knows our lives better than we do. God knows we are busy. Let us not feel guilty for having to trim our Lenten promises down to size. Let us, instead, be joyful that we are seeking a closer relationship with our Lord and his Bride, the Church. Lent is my favorite time of the year for this reason. I am so glad the Church has set aside a time to reflect, pray, and sacrifice to draw closer to God. Let us march forward toward Christ.

Here is a simple list you might be able to implement if you are having trouble:

1. Prayer: 10-15 minutes of prayer each day. Doing this around meal times is a good way to set aside time for it. Before bed is also a good time. Go to Confession more frequently.

2. Fasting: Limit social media time or Internet time to 1-3 posts per day if you are a frequent user. Or limit TV time to 1-2 hours a day if you watch a lot of TV. Do a good fast on Fridays (one meal and two smaller meals or snacks that do not add up to the one meal), or go 24 hours without eating (health permitting).

3. Alms giving: Pick a ministry and donate your time, money, or other resources throughout Lent. At Walgreen's they are supporting Harvest for Hunger. I simply add $1, $5, or $10 (on paydays) to my bill. This is a quick easy way to help feed the hungry.

I hope this list helps. Sometimes when it comes to our spiritual lives, less indeed is more if our mind, body, and soul are fully invested. I pray you have a blessed Lenten season. Please pray for me as I seek to better fulfill my Lenten promises. Please continue to pray for peace, especially in Ukraine and Venezuela. Let us be a witness to the love which conquers all. Credo Domine.

From Lutheran to Catholic

Two of the most common questions I am asked, regarding my reversion are, "Why Catholic?" or "What is the difference?". They certainly are two very good questions. In a multifaceted, "buffet style" world, it is hard to sift through the differences between many things especially Christian denominations. I must admit the jump from Lutheranism to Catholicism is not nearly as far as jumping from being a Pentecostal or Baptist. Lutheranism is a spin off of Catholicism itself, so since the two closely resemble each other on the surface, it is easy to overlook or miss the differences.

The initial grievance Luther had was the selling of indulgences by the Roman Catholic Church, thereby questioning how the Church's practice of such corresponded with its teaching on sins, confession, absolution, and salvation. It is important to note, that initially Martin Luther had no intention to create "Lutheranism". He had no intention of starting the Reformation (capital "R"), and instead wanted the Church to enter a period of reformation (small "r"). 

Martin Luther was the big political whistle-blower of his day. The Catholic Church during the time of Martin Luther, was as much a political power as it was a spiritual one. The Catholic Church controlled a lot of Europe, and also was the sole entity involved in the coronation of the great kings of Europe. Martin Luther was correct in pointing out that reform was needed, and it did eventually come. The Council of Trent (1545-1563) made the necessary reforms and affirmations of Church teachings.

Looking back, a good Catholic would be obedient and accept the reforms and affirmations instituted by the Council of Trent, but the Reformation was roaring at that point. Had the reaction of the Church been quicker, we may not have had such a schism then. Had the princes not backed Luther, Lutheranism would not exist. It was the German princes that backed Luther once he was excommunicated. The split was as much political as it was doctrinal, if not more so at the time. I need not go into further detail on the rest of the Reformation. There are countless articles and books on the topic. 

Being apostolic is vital to the one holy, catholic, and apostolic church. Once you take the authority out of the dogma's, the dogmas become formed to our infallible human desire. Christ was very specific with the handling of his Church. He entrusted it to St. Peter. the first pope and the other apostles. These apostles then took the authority, teachings, and traditions Christ handed down, and chose disciples to carrying them on as well. Every bishop can be traced back to the original Apostles. How amazing is that?! This is why my reversion really is simple. By the Reformation taking down one papacy, they created thousands more. If every person is able to interpret Sacred Scripture, which was compiled by the very Catholic Church that is rebelled against, then who is to say what is proper and what isn't?

Many will answer, "Exactly! Who has the right to tell me what is true!" This is prideful. To think this way is to fall in the sin of pride. I used to think the same way, "Who is the Pope, a mere man, to tell me what the truth is?" I often knocked the Papacy down a couple notches during my sermons. By doing that I was instituting myself as the Pope at that moment. What a grave sin of pride that was! Praise God for forgiving these sins!

The reason we need a Pope, apostolic succession, dogmas, etc., is to preserve the teachings and traditions handed down by our Lord and Savior Himself! Christ chose Apostles (Holy Orders). Holy Communion was instituted by Christ. Christ Anointed the Sick. He instituted Baptism, and Reconciliation (Confession). Christ laid out the doctrine of Holy Matrimony. The people received the Spirit thanks to Christ (Confirmation). The Traditions of the Catholic Church come from the Messiah and his trusted Apostles. How can I deny this? How could I, when faced with the decision, go with the teachings based on a mere man's opposition to Church practices (which have been corrected)? To go with a mere person or Christ? I chose Christ. Rather, the Holy Spirit enabled me to choose Christ.

People have been debating Catholic doctrine for centuries. Catholics have debated their own doctrine for well over a millennium. What I always come back to, when being faced with opposition, is the authority. Who has the authority? Did Martin Luther take it with him? No! Catholic doctrine can be debated and dissected all day and night (it is), but what matters is who the carrier of the keys is. Christ gave St. Peter the keys to the Kingdom. I could not ignore Matthew 16:13-19 and many other passages that depict Peter as head any longer. Christ said that he will build his Church on the rock that is Peter.

Everything starts with God. God gave St. Peter the keys, which were passed onto St. Linus, then St. Anacletus I, they eventually were given to St. Deusdedit, St. Adrian III also held the keys, they eventually arrived in the hands of Celestine V, St. Pius V carried them, and the list goes on. The keys are carried today by number 266, Pope Francis. This connection to Christ is incredible and undeniable. Apostolicam really is the reason for my reversion. It is not because of how I feel about the Eucharist, Marian devotion, marriage, sex, or religious celibacy. Those all come after Christ. Jesus is the reason for my reversion, because he started the apostolic succession. It all started with our Savior. Amen, credo domine.

Here are some of the books I read during my reversion that I said I would provide in my last post:

1. "100 Biblical Arguments Against Sola Scriptura" by Dave Armstrong

2. The Acts of the Apostles, New American Bible

3. The Gospel of Matthew, New American Bible

4. "Practice Makes Catholic" by Joe Paprocki

5. "Rediscover Catholicism" by Matthew Kelly

I also utilized websites:

1. www.catholic.com

2. www.catholicscomehome.org

3. www.elca.org

My Call Story: From Apostolic to Crossing the Threshold

Before I go into the details of my return to the one, holy, catholic and apostolic church, I must describe my initial membership in Christ's Church. It starts with my baptism. I was baptized into Christ's Church on 9 December 1989 at Heiligste Dreifaltigkeit Kirche (Holiest Trinity Church) in Langwasser - Nuernberg, Germany. I firmly believe that my baptism not only ties me to God, but to Nuernberg. I have family there, so my heart is filled with Nuernberg. In Germany there is a healthy version of separation of church and state.  Unlike in the United States, religion courses are taught in public schools. Yes, that is no lie, religion is encouraged.

Heiligste Dreifaltigkeit Kirche

Looking back, it is interesting to note that while my mother (I will have to dedicate an entire post to her explaining more on her) had us (mom, sister, myself) going to a Lutheran Sunday school and church, I was getting religious instruction in the Catholic class at school. It is interesting, because I am curious as to that contributed into the return to the Church. I had a great respect for the Catholic Church until I became aware of the differences between Catholics and Lutherans. Once I discovered what the differences were, I slightly mocked the Church for its doctrines while still respected the Church. The respect for the Church remained, because my grandparents (mom's side) were, and my grandmother and husband (dad's side) are, devout Catholics.

The Benninghoff family's humble abode on the first floor. Subtract the satellite dish and add an Opel Kadett in the first parking spot, and you have it.

Now that I have explained my Catholic foundation, that was quickly overcome by Lutheranism as I became more involved in my church, it is time to discuss re-entry. As I mentioned in the previous post, I took Urban Ministry at Trinity Lutheran Seminary for my January Term. During this course we visited different churches and ministries with the goal of defining "urban". It was a Wednesday in January when we visited Holy Family Church in central Columbus, Ohio to attend the Latin Mass. I remember going in with great curiosity. I had never experienced the Extraordinary Form before, and knowing that this was the Form used in the early Catholic Church made it more interesting. I felt like I was going back in time.

I followed the Order of the Mass booklet they provided as best as I could. As I write this I remembered that the Presider was preaching about church unity. It was interesting a the time, because there was a good group of Lutheran and Episcopalian seminarians in the congregation. It is interesting now, because Church Unity Week concluded Sunday. The service was beautiful. The Latin was foreign, but felt close to home. After all, it was the history of the early Catholic Church celebrated! Although I could not understand the words by simply listening, I still felt fed in someway.

Now we stumble upon the word "apostolicam". I firmly believe the Holy Spirit shook me during the profession of this very word. Looking at Lutheran translations of the Nicene Creed, a lot of them now read, "one holy, one Christian, and apostolic church." I clearly remember saying "catholic" during my time at Parma Lutheran. I know that catholic means universal. I always understood that. What I did not understand, was how Lutherans interpret apostolic. How can there be so many ways to interpret apostolic? It seems pretty cut and dry to me now.

It was almost as if it was the Holy Spirit asking the question for me. Then again, it very well could have been. Regardless, the Spirit certainly influenced the question. I asked my professor, "What is the Lutheran interpretation of Apostolic?" His answer did not sit well in my soul. It was as if the Holy Spirit was shaking my soul, "There is more Johannes, there is more!" Luther was excommunicated, and thus the apostolic succession does not continue in the Lutheran church. The Lutheran church cannot proclaim a belief in apostolic succession, because they do not practice it. This realization was the start of a great journey of faith. Was I to leave everything and everyone that I loved at Seminary behind for a simple word? Was I to leave behind great fellowship for things even I declared as adiaphora (loosely translated, not required for salvation)? Was I to leave behind the church that raised me, that gave me so much faith and love? These were all large questions that I needed to answer honestly.

2012 was going to be an incredible year, "The Year of Finding Myself" as I titled it. I certainly found myself... needing to become Catholic. I was attending Trinity part-time, due to military training from July to October. It is amazing how that worked out; I was essentially going to complete my first year over two years. One of my first visits to St. Columbkille was on Good Friday. I remember kissing the crucifix and being filled, again, with the spirit leading me forward. I began to attend Mass with my would be confirmation sponsor, Angela. While spiritually great things were happening, emotionally I was torn.

I began to pray for peace, regarding a future decision. I was often upset at the reality before me. Come back to Christ's Church or stay with a church that does love the Lord, but is missing a lot. Parma Lutheran has some amazing people. I grew up with them; they were my second family. They supported my formation at seminary and countless times before. I was often reminded of the division that Christ discussed. This portion of the Gospel brought me the comfort and peace that I had been praying for. By July of 2012 I was almost certain that Catholicism was it.

Before I go on, I must state that I did not make a decision based merely on how I felt the Spirit moving me. I tested these feelings. I read books and articles. I discussed this with my pastor at Parma Lutheran and a priest at St. Columbkille. I also discussed the switch with friends, seminarians, and family. I was consumed by researching. Below I will provide the books I read, that led me back to Catholicism. It is never good to do something merely on emotion and feelings. Especially, a decision like this. This was a life decision. This decision will affect me for the rest of my living days and beyond.

From 15 July until 2 October I was at Fort Jackson, South Carolina for Basic Officer Leader Course (BOLC) training to be a human resource officer. I met absolutely amazing people, including a fellow Phi. I also met a strong Catholic man, Rich. I do not remember exactly how I discovered that he was Catholic, but once I did I suggested we go to Mass together. I discovered a beautiful Catholic parish not far from our hotel while driving around Columbia. St. Joseph Church (Diocese of Charleston) is a beautiful church, and one that would serve as our place of worship for two and a half months. The place was absolutely packed every Sunday at all masses! Ushers actually had to search for seats for people arriving last minute.

During BOLC we also went to Charleston twice, during which we went to Mass at the Cathedral. Seeing the Bishops cathedra (chair) was a great image for as I was debating between the true apostolic Church and the church that falsely claims belief in it. BOLC was certainly part of my journey. Rich and I continue to speak daily, and he provides great encouragement. I thank God for the people that have been place along my route, rather the people that seek to walk the route I do.

Cathedral of St. John the Baptist in Charleston, South Carolina.

Before quickly discussing 2013, I will briefly discuss my trip to Ireland, and then to Germany with my friend Erik. While in Ireland visiting fellow Ohio Lambda Phis Steven, David, and Kevin, I was able to visit St. Patrick's Cathedral with Steven and David. What a great place. The look was unique and I was amazed at how the Church is so very catholic. It transcends cultures and continents as Christ intended. I was very grateful to be able to visit this great Cathedral.

St. Patrick's Cathedral in Dublin, Ireland.

After the short trip to Ireland, it was off to Germany to visit family and see Berlin, Munich, and Weikersheim with Erik. While in Nuernberg I was also visited by my dear friends Lucy, Tyler, and their precious daughter Ashley. We toured the churches and ate delicious food. It was great to see good friends. What is also great is that Lucy is herself and comes from a family of strong Catholics. Her husband is also a convert and has a great zeal for the faith. He was very much a help in learning more about Catholicism. They continue to encourage me also. I am grateful to have them along for the journey. 2012 was certainly a year of finding, it was a blessing filled year.

2013 was the year of ambition. I had finally found myself... needing to be Catholic again, and it was now time to be ambitious. I went through the RCIA program at St. Columbkille led by Father Jamie and Deacon Paul. The members of Parma Lutheran were very loving toward me and my decision. I was fully initiated into the Catholic Church on Holy Saturday, and have been on fire ever since. Holy Saturday was the end to another great chapter in my life, and the beginning of a new one. I thank Angela my sponsor for being so inviting and encouraging. Thank you.

Once I was in, I began looking to the future. "What is God calling me to do, now that I am in His Church", I would ask. I was quickly drawn to the idea of Priesthood. The gifts identified by the senior ladies at church did not go away, the fire for ministry was still there. I began meeting with Father Jamie regularly for some time, and now meet with Father Sean. Both are great priests. I also talked with Father Kevin and Father Kalista. They also have great zeal and are awesome priests. I then was encouraged to contact the recruiter for the Diocese of Cleveland, the vocation director Father McCandless. I began meeting with him, and he also recognized that I was seeking something good and that something was there. I now am enrolled in Crossing the Threshold, the program for discerning men led by Father McCandless. I am absolutely loving life.

So why Catholic? I have rambled on long enough. I will answer this question in my next post, "From Lutheran to Catholic". May God bless all of you and thank you for reading. Credo Domine.

My Call Story: From Discovery to Urban Ministry at Trinity Lutheran Seminary

Everybody has a call story, some have several call stories. My call story isn't finished yet; to be honest, it never ends it changes. I will start my call story when I was in eighth grade. My eighth grade year was a turning point year from pre-adolescence into adolescence. It is that way with many people, however it was a spiritual turning point that still affects me to this day.

By the time I was in eighth grade (2002-2003), I was very active in my church youth group at Parma Lutheran Church (ELCA). After I had moved to Broadview Heights from Parma, I held on to my friends from church. I absolutely loved being a part of something great; the fellowship this youth group had was incredible. We had huge presence where ever we went; seeing a sea of blue shirts at youth gatherings was common place. We even got a shout out from Lost and Found ("give Parma a chance").   I have many great memories from that youth group, and it certainly had a tremendous part in forming my faith, rather, cementing my faith during my high school years and into college.

I started serving as a lector for Parma Lutheran that year, and people noticed something. The senior ladies at church seemed to know the most. They would approach me during the peace or after the service and say I'd make a good pastor. In my mind all I did was read from Sacred Scripture, but these ladies knew something. At first I stored the thought of being a pastor in the back of my mind to look at later. As I kept reading and participating in the church, the thought was continually brought forward. I had other plans at the time, but something kept calling back.

We move to 2005 when my best friend Jill and I went to the Summer Seminary Sampler at Trinity Lutheran Seminary in Bexley (Columbus), Ohio. She told me about it, and I was very interested so I applied for it as well. I didn't know I got in until I emailed the Seminary to check the status of my application. It was a three week Sampler of service and learning. We participated in helping God's children through out Columbus. We also sampled classes at the seminary. I remember telling New Testament professor Clayton Croy that I would see him in the future (and I did, more later). I was the only male in the group, but that didn't stop me from making great memories. Jill and I were the Parma Lutheran tag-team. I remember laying in Schenk Chapel during the end of a Taize prayer session reflecting on my call, and I said "yes".

In high school, I also preached my first sermon. If I remember correctly, it was Jill and I leading the service while Pastor Jeff (our interim pastor) was on vacation. We, obviously, did not have communion. Jill was the Presider and I was the Preacher. I remember submitting the first draft of my sermon, and being told it was too Old Testament heavy. This is interesting, because getting more reacquainted with the Old Testament is something I still am working on. It was a standard Lutheran sermon, preaching on grace and how our sinfulness doesn't stop God from seeking us. I remember even bringing the Pope down to a "commoner's" level. The sermon was well received, and those same senior ladies (along with others this time) told me I should pursue Lutheran ministry.

With the discovery of certain gifts firmly in place, I still stored them in the "watch later" section of my mind. I still had my plans. We move to the two years of 2006-2007, my junior and senior years in High School. Brecksville-Broadview Heights High School had the blessings of a TV station. I joined Bee-TV my junior year, and started reporting on various school happenings (mainly sports). I even had my own segment on the morning show, interviewing various school athletes. I had a blast with Bee-TV. In my senior year, I earned a position as an anchor on the morning show. I absolutely loved it. I was known for wearing a red sports coat and gold tie when anchoring. I also color commentated sports events. I had fallen in love (puppy love) with broadcasting. I knew what I wanted to do in college and beyond. I wanted to be on TV.

Now at Kent State University (2007-2011) with a ROTC scholarship, I was only a pre-Journalism and Mass Communication major before I switched to Justice Studies. After talking with the ROTC admissions officer, we came to the conclusion that being Active Duty for at least four out of eight years would hurt my chances of a great broadcasting career. Back in 2007, four years of Active Duty was the minimum requirement out of an eight year service obligation following graduation. So I marched on toward graduation and commissioning as a Criminal Justice guy.

During college, I had stopped attending church regularly and filled the weekend gaps with partying like a lot of college students. My faith was on the back burner, and partying and social life was on the front burner. Since practicing my faith was on the back burner, pursuing ministry was not even on the stove. However, my junior year of college (2009-2010) would prove to be another turning point year. It was the year I rediscovered my faith and my call.

After a post-SongFest (Greek philanthropic event) celebration party I had hit the bottom. I woke up, and for one reason or another I noticed my body could not take it anymore; my soul could not take it anymore. I talked with my fraternity brother Devin, a convicted non-denominational Christian about my partying and what I needed going forward. Something stirred my soul to come out of the hardcore party scene and into something more. Looking back I am completely comfortable saying it was the Holy Spirit. It was not an immediate come back, though. I then entered into a period of great despair.

For a little over a month, I thought I was not worthy to talk to the almighty God. I believed that God was not pleased, and so would not listen to what I had to say. Although I would go to church (Trinity Lutheran, ELCA) more often, I still did not feel a connection. I realized the great pain I must have cause our Lord and savior! I would proclaim, "Who am I, Lord? Who am I to speak to your majesty?!" The despair was great, but then I ran into a passage in the Bible that I still carry around today. Outside of what Jesus would preach (blessed are the poor in spirit, etc) this passage struck me profoundly.

"But now the righteousness of God has been manifested apart from the law, though testified by the law and the prophets, the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe. For there is no distinction; all have sinned and are deprived of the glory of God. They are justified freely by his grace through the redemption in Jesus Christ.." (Romans 3:21-24, NAB [emphasis added]). The version I used then read, "...all have fallen short of the glory of God."

What an amazing proclamation by the great Apostle St. Paul! Once I ran across this passage the despair departed me. I was on fire once again. I began to pray again. I began to reflect on the "yes" I gave to our Lord on the floor of Schenk Chapel. Praise the Lord for He is good! My faith was now on the front burner, and my call to ministry was on the burner next to it. I utilized Campus Crusade events, and met with their ministers to get a push start to where I was in 2007.

As I continued moving toward graduation, I finally listened to what the senior ladies at church introduced in 2002/2003 academic year. I contacted Trinity Lutheran Seminary and began marching toward ministry. In ROTC and my fraternity I would eventually lead simple Bible studies. I lead Bible studies in the field at Joint Base Lewis McChord during ROTC field training. I was elected fraternity Chaplain. My faith was once again on fire, and actually more on fire than ever before.

I graduated in 2011 with a BA in Justice Studies and commissioned as a Second Lieutenant in US Army/Ohio Army National Guard. I would begin to attempt to enter Chaplain Candidacy for the National Guard and start at Trinity Lutheran Seminary that fall. I was so happy with where I was. God certainly never stopped being faithful during my years away. He will always be faithful. I was ready to enter seminary and continue pursuing my call to ministry.

I absolutely loved Trinity. The people I met there are amazing. The fellowship, prayer, service, learning, and community was incredible. I was in a good place in life. I thought everything was set, and that I simply had to press on and eventually I would be a Lutheran pastor. That all changed in January 2012 when I took Urban Ministry for my January Term. It was an interesting course; defining "urban" and visiting different churches and ministries. One church we visited was Holy Family Catholic Church in Columbus. We attended the Latin Mass, and afterward I would embark on the next part of my journey. It all started with the word "apostolicam" (apostolic). I asked what the Lutheran interpretation of apostolic is, and the journey home was underway.

I will discuss my reversion to Catholicism in my next post, My Call Story: From Apostolic to Crossing the Threshold. Thank you for reading. God bless you.

Credo Domine

I feel it is important to start my blogging adventure in this manner:

I believe in one God,
the Father almighty,
maker of heaven and earth,
of all things visible and invisible.

I believe in one Lord Jesus Christ,
the Only Begotten Son of God,
born of the Father before all ages.
God from God, Light from Light,
true God from true God,
begotten, not made, consubstantial with the Father;
through him all things were made.
For us men and for our salvation
he came down from heaven,
and by the Holy Spirit was incarnate of the Virgin Mary,
and became man.
For our sake he was crucified under Pontius Pilate,
he suffered death and was buried,
and rose again on the third day
in accordance with the Scriptures.
He ascended into heaven
and is seated at the right hand of the Father.
He will come again in glory
to judge the living and the dead
and his kingdom will have no end.

I believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the giver of life,
who proceeds from the Father and the Son,
who with the Father and the Son is adored and glorified,
who has spoken through the prophets.

I believe in one, holy, catholic and apostolic Church.
I confess one Baptism for the forgiveness of sins
and I look forward to the resurrection of the dead
and the life of the world to come. Amen.

This is what I believe. Most things I will discuss on this blog are a direct reflection of this. I must point out the word "apostolic" in the creed. This word was the start of an amazing journey back to the Catholic Church. I will share this story in a future post. This blog will also feature book reviews and updates on my discernment of the Priesthood. 2014 will be an exciting year for me. Please keep me in your prayers. Remember to love GOD and love NEIGHBOR. Have a blessed day.