My Call Story: From Apostolic to Crossing the Threshold

Before I go into the details of my return to the one, holy, catholic and apostolic church, I must describe my initial membership in Christ's Church. It starts with my baptism. I was baptized into Christ's Church on 9 December 1989 at Heiligste Dreifaltigkeit Kirche (Holiest Trinity Church) in Langwasser - Nuernberg, Germany. I firmly believe that my baptism not only ties me to God, but to Nuernberg. I have family there, so my heart is filled with Nuernberg. In Germany there is a healthy version of separation of church and state.  Unlike in the United States, religion courses are taught in public schools. Yes, that is no lie, religion is encouraged.

Heiligste Dreifaltigkeit Kirche

Looking back, it is interesting to note that while my mother (I will have to dedicate an entire post to her explaining more on her) had us (mom, sister, myself) going to a Lutheran Sunday school and church, I was getting religious instruction in the Catholic class at school. It is interesting, because I am curious as to that contributed into the return to the Church. I had a great respect for the Catholic Church until I became aware of the differences between Catholics and Lutherans. Once I discovered what the differences were, I slightly mocked the Church for its doctrines while still respected the Church. The respect for the Church remained, because my grandparents (mom's side) were, and my grandmother and husband (dad's side) are, devout Catholics.

The Benninghoff family's humble abode on the first floor. Subtract the satellite dish and add an Opel Kadett in the first parking spot, and you have it.

Now that I have explained my Catholic foundation, that was quickly overcome by Lutheranism as I became more involved in my church, it is time to discuss re-entry. As I mentioned in the previous post, I took Urban Ministry at Trinity Lutheran Seminary for my January Term. During this course we visited different churches and ministries with the goal of defining "urban". It was a Wednesday in January when we visited Holy Family Church in central Columbus, Ohio to attend the Latin Mass. I remember going in with great curiosity. I had never experienced the Extraordinary Form before, and knowing that this was the Form used in the early Catholic Church made it more interesting. I felt like I was going back in time.

I followed the Order of the Mass booklet they provided as best as I could. As I write this I remembered that the Presider was preaching about church unity. It was interesting a the time, because there was a good group of Lutheran and Episcopalian seminarians in the congregation. It is interesting now, because Church Unity Week concluded Sunday. The service was beautiful. The Latin was foreign, but felt close to home. After all, it was the history of the early Catholic Church celebrated! Although I could not understand the words by simply listening, I still felt fed in someway.

Now we stumble upon the word "apostolicam". I firmly believe the Holy Spirit shook me during the profession of this very word. Looking at Lutheran translations of the Nicene Creed, a lot of them now read, "one holy, one Christian, and apostolic church." I clearly remember saying "catholic" during my time at Parma Lutheran. I know that catholic means universal. I always understood that. What I did not understand, was how Lutherans interpret apostolic. How can there be so many ways to interpret apostolic? It seems pretty cut and dry to me now.

It was almost as if it was the Holy Spirit asking the question for me. Then again, it very well could have been. Regardless, the Spirit certainly influenced the question. I asked my professor, "What is the Lutheran interpretation of Apostolic?" His answer did not sit well in my soul. It was as if the Holy Spirit was shaking my soul, "There is more Johannes, there is more!" Luther was excommunicated, and thus the apostolic succession does not continue in the Lutheran church. The Lutheran church cannot proclaim a belief in apostolic succession, because they do not practice it. This realization was the start of a great journey of faith. Was I to leave everything and everyone that I loved at Seminary behind for a simple word? Was I to leave behind great fellowship for things even I declared as adiaphora (loosely translated, not required for salvation)? Was I to leave behind the church that raised me, that gave me so much faith and love? These were all large questions that I needed to answer honestly.

2012 was going to be an incredible year, "The Year of Finding Myself" as I titled it. I certainly found myself... needing to become Catholic. I was attending Trinity part-time, due to military training from July to October. It is amazing how that worked out; I was essentially going to complete my first year over two years. One of my first visits to St. Columbkille was on Good Friday. I remember kissing the crucifix and being filled, again, with the spirit leading me forward. I began to attend Mass with my would be confirmation sponsor, Angela. While spiritually great things were happening, emotionally I was torn.

I began to pray for peace, regarding a future decision. I was often upset at the reality before me. Come back to Christ's Church or stay with a church that does love the Lord, but is missing a lot. Parma Lutheran has some amazing people. I grew up with them; they were my second family. They supported my formation at seminary and countless times before. I was often reminded of the division that Christ discussed. This portion of the Gospel brought me the comfort and peace that I had been praying for. By July of 2012 I was almost certain that Catholicism was it.

Before I go on, I must state that I did not make a decision based merely on how I felt the Spirit moving me. I tested these feelings. I read books and articles. I discussed this with my pastor at Parma Lutheran and a priest at St. Columbkille. I also discussed the switch with friends, seminarians, and family. I was consumed by researching. Below I will provide the books I read, that led me back to Catholicism. It is never good to do something merely on emotion and feelings. Especially, a decision like this. This was a life decision. This decision will affect me for the rest of my living days and beyond.

From 15 July until 2 October I was at Fort Jackson, South Carolina for Basic Officer Leader Course (BOLC) training to be a human resource officer. I met absolutely amazing people, including a fellow Phi. I also met a strong Catholic man, Rich. I do not remember exactly how I discovered that he was Catholic, but once I did I suggested we go to Mass together. I discovered a beautiful Catholic parish not far from our hotel while driving around Columbia. St. Joseph Church (Diocese of Charleston) is a beautiful church, and one that would serve as our place of worship for two and a half months. The place was absolutely packed every Sunday at all masses! Ushers actually had to search for seats for people arriving last minute.

During BOLC we also went to Charleston twice, during which we went to Mass at the Cathedral. Seeing the Bishops cathedra (chair) was a great image for as I was debating between the true apostolic Church and the church that falsely claims belief in it. BOLC was certainly part of my journey. Rich and I continue to speak daily, and he provides great encouragement. I thank God for the people that have been place along my route, rather the people that seek to walk the route I do.

Cathedral of St. John the Baptist in Charleston, South Carolina.

Before quickly discussing 2013, I will briefly discuss my trip to Ireland, and then to Germany with my friend Erik. While in Ireland visiting fellow Ohio Lambda Phis Steven, David, and Kevin, I was able to visit St. Patrick's Cathedral with Steven and David. What a great place. The look was unique and I was amazed at how the Church is so very catholic. It transcends cultures and continents as Christ intended. I was very grateful to be able to visit this great Cathedral.

St. Patrick's Cathedral in Dublin, Ireland.

After the short trip to Ireland, it was off to Germany to visit family and see Berlin, Munich, and Weikersheim with Erik. While in Nuernberg I was also visited by my dear friends Lucy, Tyler, and their precious daughter Ashley. We toured the churches and ate delicious food. It was great to see good friends. What is also great is that Lucy is herself and comes from a family of strong Catholics. Her husband is also a convert and has a great zeal for the faith. He was very much a help in learning more about Catholicism. They continue to encourage me also. I am grateful to have them along for the journey. 2012 was certainly a year of finding, it was a blessing filled year.

2013 was the year of ambition. I had finally found myself... needing to be Catholic again, and it was now time to be ambitious. I went through the RCIA program at St. Columbkille led by Father Jamie and Deacon Paul. The members of Parma Lutheran were very loving toward me and my decision. I was fully initiated into the Catholic Church on Holy Saturday, and have been on fire ever since. Holy Saturday was the end to another great chapter in my life, and the beginning of a new one. I thank Angela my sponsor for being so inviting and encouraging. Thank you.

Once I was in, I began looking to the future. "What is God calling me to do, now that I am in His Church", I would ask. I was quickly drawn to the idea of Priesthood. The gifts identified by the senior ladies at church did not go away, the fire for ministry was still there. I began meeting with Father Jamie regularly for some time, and now meet with Father Sean. Both are great priests. I also talked with Father Kevin and Father Kalista. They also have great zeal and are awesome priests. I then was encouraged to contact the recruiter for the Diocese of Cleveland, the vocation director Father McCandless. I began meeting with him, and he also recognized that I was seeking something good and that something was there. I now am enrolled in Crossing the Threshold, the program for discerning men led by Father McCandless. I am absolutely loving life.

So why Catholic? I have rambled on long enough. I will answer this question in my next post, "From Lutheran to Catholic". May God bless all of you and thank you for reading. Credo Domine.

My Call Story: From Discovery to Urban Ministry at Trinity Lutheran Seminary

Everybody has a call story, some have several call stories. My call story isn't finished yet; to be honest, it never ends it changes. I will start my call story when I was in eighth grade. My eighth grade year was a turning point year from pre-adolescence into adolescence. It is that way with many people, however it was a spiritual turning point that still affects me to this day.

By the time I was in eighth grade (2002-2003), I was very active in my church youth group at Parma Lutheran Church (ELCA). After I had moved to Broadview Heights from Parma, I held on to my friends from church. I absolutely loved being a part of something great; the fellowship this youth group had was incredible. We had huge presence where ever we went; seeing a sea of blue shirts at youth gatherings was common place. We even got a shout out from Lost and Found ("give Parma a chance").   I have many great memories from that youth group, and it certainly had a tremendous part in forming my faith, rather, cementing my faith during my high school years and into college.

I started serving as a lector for Parma Lutheran that year, and people noticed something. The senior ladies at church seemed to know the most. They would approach me during the peace or after the service and say I'd make a good pastor. In my mind all I did was read from Sacred Scripture, but these ladies knew something. At first I stored the thought of being a pastor in the back of my mind to look at later. As I kept reading and participating in the church, the thought was continually brought forward. I had other plans at the time, but something kept calling back.

We move to 2005 when my best friend Jill and I went to the Summer Seminary Sampler at Trinity Lutheran Seminary in Bexley (Columbus), Ohio. She told me about it, and I was very interested so I applied for it as well. I didn't know I got in until I emailed the Seminary to check the status of my application. It was a three week Sampler of service and learning. We participated in helping God's children through out Columbus. We also sampled classes at the seminary. I remember telling New Testament professor Clayton Croy that I would see him in the future (and I did, more later). I was the only male in the group, but that didn't stop me from making great memories. Jill and I were the Parma Lutheran tag-team. I remember laying in Schenk Chapel during the end of a Taize prayer session reflecting on my call, and I said "yes".

In high school, I also preached my first sermon. If I remember correctly, it was Jill and I leading the service while Pastor Jeff (our interim pastor) was on vacation. We, obviously, did not have communion. Jill was the Presider and I was the Preacher. I remember submitting the first draft of my sermon, and being told it was too Old Testament heavy. This is interesting, because getting more reacquainted with the Old Testament is something I still am working on. It was a standard Lutheran sermon, preaching on grace and how our sinfulness doesn't stop God from seeking us. I remember even bringing the Pope down to a "commoner's" level. The sermon was well received, and those same senior ladies (along with others this time) told me I should pursue Lutheran ministry.

With the discovery of certain gifts firmly in place, I still stored them in the "watch later" section of my mind. I still had my plans. We move to the two years of 2006-2007, my junior and senior years in High School. Brecksville-Broadview Heights High School had the blessings of a TV station. I joined Bee-TV my junior year, and started reporting on various school happenings (mainly sports). I even had my own segment on the morning show, interviewing various school athletes. I had a blast with Bee-TV. In my senior year, I earned a position as an anchor on the morning show. I absolutely loved it. I was known for wearing a red sports coat and gold tie when anchoring. I also color commentated sports events. I had fallen in love (puppy love) with broadcasting. I knew what I wanted to do in college and beyond. I wanted to be on TV.

Now at Kent State University (2007-2011) with a ROTC scholarship, I was only a pre-Journalism and Mass Communication major before I switched to Justice Studies. After talking with the ROTC admissions officer, we came to the conclusion that being Active Duty for at least four out of eight years would hurt my chances of a great broadcasting career. Back in 2007, four years of Active Duty was the minimum requirement out of an eight year service obligation following graduation. So I marched on toward graduation and commissioning as a Criminal Justice guy.

During college, I had stopped attending church regularly and filled the weekend gaps with partying like a lot of college students. My faith was on the back burner, and partying and social life was on the front burner. Since practicing my faith was on the back burner, pursuing ministry was not even on the stove. However, my junior year of college (2009-2010) would prove to be another turning point year. It was the year I rediscovered my faith and my call.

After a post-SongFest (Greek philanthropic event) celebration party I had hit the bottom. I woke up, and for one reason or another I noticed my body could not take it anymore; my soul could not take it anymore. I talked with my fraternity brother Devin, a convicted non-denominational Christian about my partying and what I needed going forward. Something stirred my soul to come out of the hardcore party scene and into something more. Looking back I am completely comfortable saying it was the Holy Spirit. It was not an immediate come back, though. I then entered into a period of great despair.

For a little over a month, I thought I was not worthy to talk to the almighty God. I believed that God was not pleased, and so would not listen to what I had to say. Although I would go to church (Trinity Lutheran, ELCA) more often, I still did not feel a connection. I realized the great pain I must have cause our Lord and savior! I would proclaim, "Who am I, Lord? Who am I to speak to your majesty?!" The despair was great, but then I ran into a passage in the Bible that I still carry around today. Outside of what Jesus would preach (blessed are the poor in spirit, etc) this passage struck me profoundly.

"But now the righteousness of God has been manifested apart from the law, though testified by the law and the prophets, the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe. For there is no distinction; all have sinned and are deprived of the glory of God. They are justified freely by his grace through the redemption in Jesus Christ.." (Romans 3:21-24, NAB [emphasis added]). The version I used then read, "...all have fallen short of the glory of God."

What an amazing proclamation by the great Apostle St. Paul! Once I ran across this passage the despair departed me. I was on fire once again. I began to pray again. I began to reflect on the "yes" I gave to our Lord on the floor of Schenk Chapel. Praise the Lord for He is good! My faith was now on the front burner, and my call to ministry was on the burner next to it. I utilized Campus Crusade events, and met with their ministers to get a push start to where I was in 2007.

As I continued moving toward graduation, I finally listened to what the senior ladies at church introduced in 2002/2003 academic year. I contacted Trinity Lutheran Seminary and began marching toward ministry. In ROTC and my fraternity I would eventually lead simple Bible studies. I lead Bible studies in the field at Joint Base Lewis McChord during ROTC field training. I was elected fraternity Chaplain. My faith was once again on fire, and actually more on fire than ever before.

I graduated in 2011 with a BA in Justice Studies and commissioned as a Second Lieutenant in US Army/Ohio Army National Guard. I would begin to attempt to enter Chaplain Candidacy for the National Guard and start at Trinity Lutheran Seminary that fall. I was so happy with where I was. God certainly never stopped being faithful during my years away. He will always be faithful. I was ready to enter seminary and continue pursuing my call to ministry.

I absolutely loved Trinity. The people I met there are amazing. The fellowship, prayer, service, learning, and community was incredible. I was in a good place in life. I thought everything was set, and that I simply had to press on and eventually I would be a Lutheran pastor. That all changed in January 2012 when I took Urban Ministry for my January Term. It was an interesting course; defining "urban" and visiting different churches and ministries. One church we visited was Holy Family Catholic Church in Columbus. We attended the Latin Mass, and afterward I would embark on the next part of my journey. It all started with the word "apostolicam" (apostolic). I asked what the Lutheran interpretation of apostolic is, and the journey home was underway.

I will discuss my reversion to Catholicism in my next post, My Call Story: From Apostolic to Crossing the Threshold. Thank you for reading. God bless you.